-By Maggie Bayless

"She's got such a bad attitude!" "He gets his work done but it's clear he doesn't really care about the store." "We're looking for team players, not drama queens, victims or martyrs!"

When we say or hear the phrases above, most of us have a pretty clear image in our minds. We can tell a "bad" attitude from a "positive" attitude with our eyes closed, right? So why can it be so difficult to get employees to change their "bad" attitudes?

Body Language
Let's start with some dictionary definitions. Merriam Webster defines "attitude" as "a mental position with regard to a fact or state." Hmmm. I don't know about you, but I'm not as good at reading people's minds as I'd like to think I am. And when we assign attitudes to people, we're basically saying we can read their minds. On the other hand, the dictionary defines "behavior" as "the manner of conducting oneself." You don't have to be a mind reader to identify a behavior. Behaviors are observable and, thus, measurable and a much better place to start when documenting performance expectations.

It is legitimate to feel that an employee's attitude has a big impact on co-workers, on the level of service in the department and on productivity overall. So I'm not suggesting that you just put up with whatever attitudes your staff members bring to work with them every day. Rather, I've found it more productive to focus on defining expectations about the specific behaviors that you want to see less of — or more of.

For example, eyes rolling up in the head, loud, drawn-out sighs and crossed arms are behaviors that often indicate that a person is bored. But these same behaviors could also indicate annoyance, disagreement, impatience or several other feelings or attitudes. Telling an employee, "You have a bad attitude" just invites the reply, "No I don't." And since there is no way to prove that another person is feeling a certain way if they tell you they aren't, the discussion itself is a waste of time.

On the other hand, rolling eyes, shoulder-heaving sighs and crossed arms are specific, observable behaviors, and it is perfectly appropriate to set the expectation that those behaviors are not acceptable when interacting with customers or with other staff. I like to focus on the positive rather than the negative, so I favor setting the expectation that staff greet customers — and co-workers — with eye contact, a smile and a sincere hello. But when there are specific, unwanted behaviors that you want to eliminate (eye-rolling, etc.), it is usually effective to explain what you want to see less/none of, as well as what you want to see more of.

"I statements" and "you statements," like all management tools, can be misused. "It drives me crazy when you do that," would not be an effective use of the tool, for example. But the "I . . . You" format can be especially useful in identifying occasions when a specific behavior is causing a problem. For example: "When you cross your arms, sigh out loud and roll your eyes in response to a customer asking you a question, I'm afraid that it makes them feel unwelcome in our store, and that is the opposite of how we want them to feel. It is an expectation of all staff that you greet every customer with a smile and body language that encourages customers to ask questions."

Some managers I've worked with don't want to move past attitudes to focus on behaviors. They will argue that if the employee doesn't have the "right" attitude, then they can't be successful. I agree that it is much easier to help a customer feel welcome when I'm truly excited about waiting on them than when I'm feeling that I wish they'd just leave me alone. But I also believe that the action can precede the emotion; that if I act enthusiastic about waiting on this customer, eventually I will start feeling more enthusiastic. And at the end of the day, I'd rather work with the employee who gives great service to each customer — regardless of that staff person's current state of mind — than with the one who "cares" a lot but doesn't have the skills to meet the customer's needs.

Mental Exercising
Here's an exercise that I've used to help managers identify the difference between attitudes and behaviors. It usually generates a few "light bulb moments," and it provides the basis for documenting specific performance expectations.

First, generate a list of "bad/negative" attitudes and a list of "good/positive" attitudes. Common "bad" attitudes might be unreliable, lazy, gossip, selfish, poor work ethic. Common "good" attitudes would be team player, leader, self-motivated, loyal to the organization. I like to do this part of the exercise as a group, listing the attitudes on flipcharts at the front of the room.

Next, I have people work in pairs or small teams. Each group picks one attitude from the positive list and one from the negative list. For each attitude, the group documents a list of behaviors that they associate with that attitude. For example:

Unreliable:
Consistently shows up late for shifts Doesn't finish assigned work Makes commitments that aren't kept
When the small groups have finished their work, they take turns presenting to each other. Sometimes two groups have chosen the same attitude, and it's interesting to see the similarities and differences between the associated behaviors. Often, groups will have used attitudes to describe attitudes; for example, including "poor work ethic" as a descriptor for "unreliable." The leader's job is to keep asking the question "What does that look like?" "If I'm watching you work, what are you doing that leads me to think you have a poor work ethic?" until the lists really do document behaviors rather than attitudes.

Behaviors are much easier to change than attitudes. When we focus on attitudes, we are setting ourselves and our employees up for failure because even if they sincerely want to change, they don't have anything tangible to work on. Once we've clarified the behaviors that we want to eliminate or see more of, it is relatively easy to set performance expectations, and measurement becomes a matter of whether the behavior did or did not happen. Punching in on time, completing assigned tasks, even making eye contact and smiling are all "manners of conducting oneself," and definitely do not require mind-reading to identify!

Maggie Bayless is the managing partner of ZingTrain, which is the consulting arm of Zingerman's, the specialty food retailer in Ann Arbor, Mich. If you have specific topics you would like to see addressed, please send your suggestions to Maggie at mbayless@zingermans.com.